Approaching marriage virginity makes me embarrassed

Hitting a "virgin", I go to bars looking for men

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After "careful consideration", I decided to go to bars to find one interested in romantic pursuit of a man and woman. Really sad, ordinary day I'm the most irresponsible man offensive may then have to rack their brains to find such a man, and even fear that the bad man was not thorough enough.

Next night, I went to a "bad reputation" of the bar. Is said to frequent one-night stands, most men hang around this is to find One Night objects. For me, this appropriate.

Ten o'clock at night, I walked into their dolled herself up in the bar, found a prominent place to sit down alone. I never drink but drink a lot of wine that day, perhaps because he was nervous. Before long, a shape of a man sitting in my romantic side, one can see, it was a regular in the bar "Color Hunting" and a man. Although the heart well prepared, but I stress out of order. In fact not hear what the man said, then, are afraid to see that the temptation to look giddy. I would like to go away, like ran out of bars, because I feel extremely depressed and tense. That night, I feel bad to the extreme. Later, said to himself that he had, and do not think about anything. Later, I started to feel relaxed, because I know I can not stand such an outcome. Next, I slowly into the role. I am pretending to be sophisticated to drink and flirt with that man, dressed himself up as a decadent indulgence for a woman. From the joy of the man hold back any longer look, I see his shameless. I do not want to indulge in such false sexual temptations, I ask myself constantly in mind: only to find myself broken body of the tool only if it would put to dress up an illusion? If Jiaxizhenzuo, I am not worth the it?

So I want to ask him surprisingly open room, I said with a mocking tone: "Do not have time to waste, I know what you want." My words are blatant flirting, look but as cold as nuns. The man looked at me puzzled at first, perhaps he would judge me if he was in the test. I hate this look romantic, in fact, men are not confident. So I got up out of the bar before I give him Shuaixia sentence: "If you want sex, then told me to go."

Stupid man would not miss such an opportunity, for them, it is simply heaven in Xian Bing. Pay the man, after trailing me out of the bar. Along the way he talked little, hunting success may be immersed in the joy of excitement. As for me, his heart was overcome with grief, I feel really sad to the extreme.

Later we went to a hotel. This is my first time and the men open room, but with a name not even know man.

Next story is extremely ridiculous, then I fled, I would like, after the man must be extremely frustrating. I am not a casual woman, not to mention I was a little sexual experience of women. When the man in the room hold me rudely that moment, my body began to feel extreme disgust. I feel sick, when a strange desire to stay close to my body when the body clean. That night, the unfortunate man is almost nothing. I refused to hug him, he was eager to avoid opening the body. I am pretending to be coquettish bathing him after that and so affectionate, and with a dubious look to send him to the bathroom. Then I wind generally fled the hotel.

Frankly disgraceful history, boyfriend or accept me

Body dedicated to the man without feelings, I can not. After fleeing the hotel, I do not feel happy, what with her future husband explained that I was divorced virgin then? Alone back home, I fell into trouble into. Then I thought of a decent reason to - I had a husband, age has been high, lost love, and they me and his name only a couple. Shen Hao so and explain, he should not be too much doubt. After much thought, I found this statement is the most perfect.

Of a sudden, as if all the clouds have dissipated. So I happily busy with preparations for marriage, the future life, I am full of confidence.

My boyfriend bad those days are busy, house renovation, buying furniture, setting banquet, wedding photographs, looked at his face with a happy expression to busy preparing, I had some happy and sad. Such a good man, but I still want to cheat him. During that time, the more I feel his love for me, he told me the good, the more I feel bad incomparable. He so believed in me, and I was deceiving him, it is not too cruel to you? In my view, once and really love the man entered the marriage hall, it means to be absolutely sincere with each other, can not be given a lie, or live in hiding the truth is not happy, there is a shadow. What's more, I am cheating boyfriend, and I a few years ago to deceive the old man in Singapore, what difference? I do not, or that selfish woman?

Finally, one night before the wedding, I took Shen Hao's hand and asked whether he could forgive my past. Shen Hao looked at me with a puzzled, then smiled and said: "I do not mind your past, do not care in the past marriage."

I said with tears: "No, you know? I deceive you, because now I am still a virgin."

Shen Hao

eyes looked at me with a puzzled, he asked me if I was not married too. I smiled, laughing at himself, and then I told him that my former husband and the marriage is Pianhun, just to get the right of abode in Singapore. Marriage, although he and I live in one house, but no relation. I told her ex-husband got the right of abode after the divorce. I cried and said I was not the perfect woman, not his heart goddess and princess. Then I looked at him astonished eyes, said: "My past is disgraceful, The knot is not married to you, I would not have a word of complaint."

Finished them, I will be looking at her boyfriend's eyes, looking at his face without expression, I guess its a fantasy of marriage stop there. Boyfriend smiled, as to a child stroked my hair the same, with a gentle voice said to me: "Who has not the past? Since you now have the previous behavior was repentant, then I certainly would not need to be investigated those memories. I believe you are sincere in our marriage, because you do not have the heart to deceive me. So, I decided to marry you, and to love you. "

Not wait for him to finish, I hugged her boyfriend broad shoulders, burst into tears. To be a sincere person, is the world's largest pleasure.