I betrayed my husband in spirit the whole 10 years

I do not want to pursue my husband is not really derailed, because my spirit had betrayed him.

Narrator: thousand sunny, female, 45 years old freelance story of purified 23 years ago, 10,000 have clear skills of Ecological Compensation chosen to do her husband, and all week pass. After marriage, husband's stiff and heavy so that the couple lives a seemingly harmonious. Fate million clear and weeks where a neighbor, she began a 10-year unilateral Platonic Love. Wan Ching immersed in the spiritual world, the feelings and spiritual understanding between all week. Who knows, in the end so embarrassed!

About

"I often think, If we had a week where I choose, I should have had another life, the hearts should be full of tenderness to her husband, life was filled with hope. But in fact, I did not even see the side and Zhou Fan , the firm abandoned him ... ... "

I lived in the north of the city near the train station. Father died early, and there are four sisters, I was youngest, my sister are very pet me. I am lively, simple, carefree and has not fallen in love. In 1983, I was 20, and sister were all married, and my personal problems become their biggest heart, a blind all day for me, hope I can soon find a good home.

That summer day, big sister went to rush around my house, I wear the most beautiful dress to her came to visit. I find it very strange that all the family, need so grand it? Came in the door of her house, I saw a soldier sitting upright on the sofa, I look to see the original Sister is a blind for me. He told Li-Ming Liu, a unit when the vehicle in Anhui soldiers. LIU Li-ming grown very ordinary, but my body is full of righteousness. We looked at each other some, he frankly said: "I can drive, soon to change jobs, and would like to contact you!" I was impressed by his frankness and gently nodded. I am a very simple person, hoping to find a skilled man, live together. Ming Liu returned to his unit, we began to geese, he always look forward to married life, I would like to be dead set him for life.

During this period, also for my sister get married to worry about. Trustee The more you ask her, who intends to introduce to me weeks. Zhou said that the train station where business and economic conditions of good character is also very good. But I had already established a relationship and Liu Li-ming, my life has acquiesced in his presence. I am not dating another girl, then why go to see the other man? Sister advised me: "better than pre-marital involvement suffer after marriage, you can have more contact with more people, make good choices, for themselves, not be so hasty decision to personal problems ... ..." "Do not say, I can not betray a soldier !, "I rudely interrupted sister and resolutely unwilling to meet all week. Looking back now, from this moment on, I will forever miss the week where it is fate ... ... In 1984, Li-Ming Liu came back from military jobs, and we married a matter of course. After marriage, I realize, because we have separated the two, I simply do not understand him. His personality stiff, poor life skills, and I very disappointed for him. He held a bus transport company, had been a taxi driver, had contracted trucks, always morning to evening, tired, and I speak very little at home, take home the money is minimal. A poor couple goes, the family is depending on me to sell small articles of daily basic maintenance, over very hard. He can not support a home, home large, small things by me. During this marriage, I can not see hope in life, can only be patient.

1992 years, my family's economic conditions improved, we bought a house in the east of the city. To make a living, I rented a facade within the district, to sell food.

Once I order the goods in the shop and found the aisle with a pair of eyes watching me, I looked up the road is empty, simply no one. Later, there came many times this situation. Soon, I was listening to sister accidentally mention: "In the past week introduce to you the district who are you!" Strategic dengkou my heart a little, mind, under the name printed: Zhou Fan. I began to suspect, whether in the district and he met met could not recognize him ... ... "I do not want to pursue my husband is not really derailed, because my spirit had betrayed him. I can not control their own The heart is like driving a car, knowing that is in front of dead-end, dead end, that is, stop not live, can only go on the way ... ... "

That year, her husband's work has achieved new progress, he started to help a couple to open bus, people very kind to him, he can have more than 2000 yuan per month income. But he learned to play mahjong, bubble tea all day long. I said he was several times, but on second thoughts, he worked so hard, there is no other hobbies, was left with him. I have one at home, often felt lonely. One day, sunny, and I quilt hanging on the balcony, people accidentally looked across the balcony, a man dressed in blue Jujia Fu is slowly drying clothes. He seems to have looked at me, I look at him, then the balcony was empty. "He is the week all!" At the time, I own the idea convinced. Although I've never seen him, but I know that is the week where he is the man that I missed. I think a man would carefully dry the clothes, certainly hurt his wife, very good living, warm and generous.

I began to feel that life just got better, that is, a person in the store to sell stuff, not boring, what is also thought, what are they like, as if standing on the cloud life, uncertain, fuzzy, in a kind of hard to describe the living conditions. I began to dress, began to smile, began to imagine a district where we can meet each other, looking one, and then nothing, but their quietly go away ... ... Unfortunately, I think things did not happen. However, there is another tacit understanding between us ... ... I started cooking at 12 noon every day, and weeks where cooking time is totally identical. I am humming songs, looked at him in the kitchen busy figure, and then happily vegetables, wash rice. I felt that he was also looking at me. If sometimes he does not appear in the opposite kitchen, I felt driven to distraction, worried that he is not sick, is not a business trip, when to come back ... ... I've been into this void of love, not control their own heart, is like driving a car, knowing that front corners that stop not live, can only go on the way up.

One day, my husband went to the owners of my house row, saying that my husband and his wife had illicit relations. I do not polite to him outside of him. In my opinion, my husband although there are many shortcomings, but my heart is still in the house, he can not have an affair. I think, even if he and the others really occurred, I will forgive him, because my heart had betrayed him. So, I had no husband brought this matter.

One day 0:00 off, her husband returned home as usual without a word. I see the proprietress of the car side window just stopped in our yard before. I asked her husband: "You take a taxi back ah?" Her husband without looking up, casually said: "I walk back!" And then went to the bathroom. I do not have to ask again, turned and went to bed. He is not a guilty conscience? I think so to maintain him, he tells me to lie, I feel a little scared. But I just feel he betrayed my trust, but not a word jealous mean. I can not understand how can so calm himself. Now think about it, it is because in my heart, who has been the week as a "lover", although nothing happened between us.

Then, I have asked to be there from the sister, the wife of weeks where gentle, virtuous, they have a cute daughter. I do not jealous, mind quietly delighted for him. Sometimes, I could not help but imagine, if when I selected the week where, life is not some other way?

I do it, love in the heart of the week where 10 years. His attention has not subsided, and I never thought supposed to cross. I do not destroy other people's families are not willing to betray her husband in the flesh ... ... "through so many tribulations, I only know that he and I met, is to separate"

Perhaps no one believes, I think, between me and weeks where there is a magical understanding. One night in 2002, I had a strange dream, weeks where a person was lying alone in a dark room, I have cold sweats. Soon, her husband there is some small-car accident injured his hand in the hospital. I registered when she ran into a week where the wife, she said Zhou who broke into fractured leg. My dream, even confirmed! For responsibility, I carefully take care of her husband, heart pain for it is all weeks. He was injured, but I is not qualified to care for him. This feeling, let me miserable.

This matter, big impact on me. I love all of the week do not have any substantive meaning, only create more suffering for me. In order to get rid of all the care of the week, I no longer time to cook, wash clothes, not even to be at home, I often offer a number of sisters out to sing and dance. I also tried to tell them to listen to their stories, a little person who kindly advised me: "hurry up off the idea, to the deranged!" Some friends scoffed, laughed my fond hope, that I stood a good days, however, to ourselves and likely to be pleased. I tried various methods, Zhou who is lingering in my mind, go hand in hand. I'm getting depressed, I feel the whole world is laughing at me.

I can not resolve the anguish of these are written into the diary: "Let us pass by fate, destiny brings us together, that is, deliberately to tease me in heaven ... ..." But then, these words are my husband found, he asked me: "Who is this man in the end?" I want him to promise, as long as people do not go to the trouble, I told him not to conceal. After listening to my husband the story, it touches not blame me, he said quietly: "I do not understand, but I hope you slowly come out!" In this matter, I am particularly grateful to my husband, if he I was forced, I guess himself completely collapsed.

From then on, I began to take the initiative to adopt various ways to their own spirit of love out of this pain. In 2003, I and my husband rented the house, leaving the original house, re-bought a house. My husband could not play mahjong again, and as long as free, they stay home with me. And weeks where I have never met, however, to forget the "love" for so many years of people, easy to achieve? In this desperate longing, my body is getting worse, not physical, the doctor said I was less than blood.

Not long ago, I went to seek to sign, sign reads: "As people are sincere, God has sense, to work hard to get the most difficult of the retreat itself available!" I feel come about, this is that I and weeks where relations. Another time, I dreamed that his father died a long time, he told me: "my daughter, you have to keep living oh!" I think, I really should be in this group on the occasion of the end of this period may Zhensi leave LOFTY the relationship. Perhaps, we encounter is to separate ... ... Now, I have an idea, in the new year, I want to give an account of this relationship. I want to about them all week, look calmly exchange. Then, let all these stories are Suifengerqu to start my new life.

Reporter's notes 10 000 clear the interview take place at the picturesque Wangjiang Park, to meet, I guess, this must be an attentive woman, she will bring I have never heard of the love story. Sure enough, her story was very much shocked me: a woman with a beautiful 10 years Love on a "Platonic Love"!

I think, perhaps the so-called spiritual love, is actually an illusion. In the trivial and heavy marriage, the appearance of any week, a million clear of a fantasy and spiritual sustenance. Wan Ching did not really know any week, her love is not real life all week. It was only an illusion, that illusion warmth, perfect for sunny million unable to stop. She always asked myself: "If we had a week where I choose ... ..." Life has many "if" but "if" and will not happen, give popular examples: mahjong, you touch a card, The results did not and. But if you do not touch the card, and you certainly can? Not necessarily. Because no collision, then the license back situation will change. Million in the same clear, no combination is not happy with the week where a combination may not necessarily be happy.

If, Wan Ching earlier by some of the ways to "recognize" all week, learned his true image, but not always put him in fantasy, may be already out of the predicament.

I think, 10,000 clear or should accept the reality, feel good in real life, such as the good life now, a good husband, to this illusion as a memory, it is best not to break easily affected parties normal life. Perhaps, through a third party in a roundabout way to "know" this man is the best way to untie knots. Life is no turning back, have a good present, the most important.