80 after the girls experienced feelings of the most embarras

I have college students, but so far, feel they have a very abnormal psychology, so I am very worried.

Thing is this: still in primary school, has begun to Notepad, and then my parents slept in the same room, one night suddenly awakened by a voice, wake up, quietly listening, a parent a number of intimate discourse between. Listened for a while, I sat up to see how the parents were guided to see their sex scenes, was very nervous father and mother separated from sleep.

I was little, do not understand why their parents did, gradually seems to have forgotten this, but do not know when to start, the mind conjures up scenes of that year, and very disgusted. With this memory, I am not from the parents a good impression.

After high school, with some knowledge of physiology, to know the parents of such behavior is normal, but how can not get rid of the confusion brought about that night, my father is no longer perfect in my eyes, the idea continued to a very long time, with age, and his father, then less and less, almost no time alone with something to say.

Had thought a long time to forget, but instead think of every day, my mind often emerge out of that scene, but also know that this is wrong, but my mind is to lose control.

Hao Fan own ah, but also want a friend to help me untie the knots in mind, but ultimately very difficult to open such a thing, if others had the same experience better said, if others did not, I will be more depressed. You think I'm ridiculous?

I often try to convince myself that they should not complain, after all, parents do not have much knowledge, how they do what I should not interfere, but they should at least let me see, ah, they are not so pay no attention to me ? I think other people's parents must be very careful not to do such things as children see when, why parents do not fear these things when I know? After much deliberation, I still can not forgive them see this things.

I read in the newspapers, the United States let the parents of small children to understand such things, that parents will have intimacy with the child's birth also, and this intimate behavior. But the children really understand? The need for children to know something like this you?

I have 20-year-old, and everything to understand, but why is this such a big impact? I very deliberately to forget it, Mom and Dad also would like better, but that night to see The scene seems to be an insurmountable obstacle.

Re: do not mind better than trying to forget

Fully understand how you feel. In the era you grew up in China most of the family is not wealthy, many children have had in childhood or youth and their parents shared a room. You encounter trouble is not unusual for a considerable number of people have encountered. There was a girl told me, had seen his father since childhood sexual behavior, she not only despise their parents, and adult for sex has always been to have abnormal psychology, mainly as something that is.

This is the traditional culture.

The one hand, China is a cultural rather developed countries, only to look at China's share of the world's population, we know that sexual reproduction in the Chinese played an important role in how. On the other hand, China is also a very strong sexual taboos country, thousands of years of cultural tradition, of not registered something presentable and acceptable, and even some of the most intimate things ugly. Edification in this culture, parents can not correct the children's sex education.

So-called "Eat Drink Man Woman," Speaking of eating, who would not be a taboo, but do not feel any shame, people relish and appreciation for food has always been glamorous. But of the big difference, just two decades ago, even in literature, love, belong to the "forbidden zone", not to mention "sex" was.

Although the social than in the past has been quite open, in the streets of young people in love can be seen publicly embraced and kissed, but anyway, sex is still very private thing. You are ready to see the spirit of childhood without their parents for love scenes, by the shock and psychological impact on you is understandable, nothing unusual.

You can not let you see them to forgive their parents for love scenes, but in fact, to your father's reaction, then they probably more than you fear, this is how high they are independent of the culture. Any sane parents probably are not willing to let their children see such a scene, but your parents must have thought his childhood was that you have fallen asleep, that you will not see and hear. Father's reaction was also illustrates this point, otherwise he would not when you sit up quickly with his mother separated. Your childhood parents can not provide you with a separate room, which is family 使然. They did not ignore you, but no terms and conditions. You have grown up and parents should understand the embarrassment that time, they were careful to wide understanding them.

You mentioned the West for their children's education, I have also seen some information that Western parents tend not to hide their child's intimate relationship between, and some will even take the initiative to tell them how they were born. We will see in the movies, the parents will embrace in front of the children would kiss, but more intimate behavior probably still avoid the children, this is the most basic of human relations. To American families, for example, children often have very small separate room, parents and children to bed not to sleep or live in the same room. This is both a culture and a material standard of living performance. In today's China, many urban families to the children to be independent of the room, so the pattern, the children naturally could not see their parents for love scenes.

You have on the university, 20-year-old should be considered an adult, though know a lot of sense but still deeply troubled, because, in theory and practice and understand the feelings are different. Example, everyone knows their birth parents due to the intimacy, but often people do not like to imagine the scene, as most people are not to imagine that we will be looking at public figures such behavior. "Imagine" itself is "unthinkable" in.

The night scene you see now why not get rid of, give you a deep stimulation, but also because it smacks of incest with a vision. Freud on the relationship between the girl and her father had many profound and wonderful discovery and discussion, you can not accept what they saw scenes are very complex psychological reasons, and human cultural taboos has a lot, but this is clearly letter can not complete the task.

Said so much, Ke teachers want to tell you, your parents did not think was not avoiding you, but could not because of living conditions is limited strictly to do that week. You should forgive them.

Another one to tell you is the way you use letters to express their feelings to pour out their trust in the elderly, pour out is a way to ease the pressure. In the course of talk, the problem has been resolved to a certain extent. Psychology has a rule that if a heart was always depressed in mind, its energy will increase. You said, and teachers have been understanding and comfort Ke, I believe will be a relief.

Last point is, that happened in your childhood, it has gone through, it should not be too concerned. Even if sometimes think of it might be. On one thing too much notice, too would like to forget it, and it may be increasingly forgotten. That is what you forget so many years one of the reasons more and more. And you do not mind, and it will slowly weaken.